


Hearts, Butterflies and Blood

by RereLanxe



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Other, Prologue
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-13 09:46:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9118318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RereLanxe/pseuds/RereLanxe
Summary: Being told your a witch is life changing. Especially when you know nothing of magic and have no family to guide you. Sera is born into an orphanage but now she has a family and a past? She is on a mission to make friends and understand magic to impress her family. Does she really want to? Will she cope with this new world?This is my first fanfic. I would love feedback, please give it a read. Thank you so much for visiting xxx





	1. Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She is pregnant to a loving husband, but he can't raise this child. She has to save this one from this world of darkness and hate. Disappearing into the Isle of man to bring an unbroken soul to the earth seems right. Leaving her feels so wrong even if it is the right thing to do. 
> 
> This is a one shot that opens the story of 'Hearts, Butterflies and Blood'. It all links up to the other chapters but you will have to wait and see ;)

When she first found out she was pregnant the witch was hesitant and did not wish to tell the father. Maybe she never would. After a month she would decide. But never did it cross her mind to abort. It was only weather she should be the one to raise it. She knew her son was being raised wrong, he had only just reached nine months and his father had starting drilling him with blood status. She never wanted that. She never wanted her children to turn out like him. She was too late to get out now so the least she could do is save this precious soul. She had fallen to the dark side. Why couldn’t she have had more courage like her sister. She knew her niece had been raised in a loving home and could only hope this child would find a home like that. She would always love her children. Always. But she knew it wouldn’t be enough. Her family's ways were harsh, driven by fear and power. The dark lord had disappeared but she knew he would return. She hated that her boy was already on the wrong side of the war, but it wasn’t too late for this one. She would never take those chances this time. This time she would do it right.

She went out and bought herself clothing glamoured to keep her bump from showing and immediately started planning where she would go when she got to far to go unnoticed. She didn’t have to be to cautious. He was too wrapped up in work all the time to notice her changes. Even when she crept off to vomit, or constantly going to the bathroom, and eating all sorts of strange foods. She stayed for as long as she could because she couldn’t bear to leave her little boy alone. But she trusted her husband enough to look after him. He loved his little boy. He loved her too. He was beginning to see something was up though. She could feel it. So she left for the last few months. 

She told him she needed to spend some time with her friend and then she was going to mourn her Bella's capture. He knew she had kept it all in and was glad she could get away and do what she needed to do. He loved her and she him. She went to the Isle of man. A small island off the coast of Britain. She had been there before with her sisters when she was young. It was a quaint little island. A perfect place to go when you wanted some peace and quiet. She had made sure she had a cottage on the outskirts of town. She had planned everything perfectly. A healer was staying with her. A young girl she had met when her boy had been sick. Her name was Sophia and she was fully trained. She was being paid well and Sophia had agreed to help. It was a few months before the baby was due and She was glad Sophia was with her. She knew. She was the only person that knew and Sophia had convinced her to talk about it. A few times she had broken down. But afterward she had always felt so much better. She had a lot of trapped emotions to dispose of.

The birth went smoothly and it was the most beautiful baby girl she had ever seen. As soon as Sophia had handed her to her mother she had burst into tears again because the evitable was about to happen. She was going to have to give her away, and soon. The longer she held her, the longer she cared for her the harder it was going to give her up. Her baby was only with her for a week before it was time. She had picked the orphanage she was going to be dropped to. There was no-one she trusted to look after her baby. Everyone she knew was on the wrong side of this war. Everyone she knew would drill her with hate. She wanted her kept completely hidden. A muggle orphanage was the only way. 

It was midnight “the witching hour” and she stood outside the large building clutching her sleeping bundle of joy. She left her on the doorstep with a note. It said four words ‘Look after my Sera’. She looked at her daughter once more and said 'I'm so sorry'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please comment and leave feedback x


	2. Hallucinations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Waking up to an owl pecking at your window is weird enough but It giving me a letter, I guess I’m insane.' Finding out about a world known to you as fantasy is hard to take in, but a man arriving and whisking you off to find out about your past is even harder. What will Sera do when she is thrown into this unknown world?
> 
> First chapter of 'Hearts, Butterflies and Blood'. Thank you so much for reading!  
> 

Waking up to an owl pecking at your window is weird enough but It giving me a letter, I guess I’m insane. What the hell is ‘Hogwarts’? Why do they want me to go there? I’m nothing special, only mildly Schizophrenic. Maybe this isn’t real? Pacing the room my hand crept up and combed through my milky blonde hair for the fifteenth time, my hand crept down to my wrist but I snatch it away because the consequences from Madam Clemence are worse than the relief. This is definitely not good for my health. I clumsily dropped onto my bed to read the letter again, making sure I inhaled every word.  
_Dear Ms, We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than 31 July. Yours sincerely, Minerva McGonagall_.

It was so short and to the point. Yet still I didn’t understand any of it. I had never applied to this school. Perhaps it wasn’t mine. Perhaps It was someone else’s letter. That was it, why hadn’t I thought of this before? I got of her bed with a squeak and turned to give it to Madam Clemence when I heard a crack behind me and spun around to see that in my room was the oldest and strangest man I had ever laid eyes on, after practically jumping out of my skin and smacking my hip on the corner of my dresser I just stared. He was tall and thin with silver hair and a long beard. These were not the features that made him peculiar though. It was mainly that he was wearing long navy robes and buckled boots, I had never seen anything like them before.

He smiled at me like I was an old friend whereas my face was plastered with shock and puzzlement. He took the chair from the corner of my room and promptly sat. “I’m sorry for having to sit but my joints are not as they once were, please take a seat. We have much to discuss.”  
I sat on the edge of my bed still confused but curiosity had stolen my features. I must be hallucinating again, the man gazed into my eyes and seemed to read my thoughts “It is not a trick of the mind my dear, I am most certainly here. You have never hallucinated in your life as a matter of fact, you have only seen things others do not understand”  
‘But I was tested, I have a medical condition, this is no joke sir. Anyway you can’t be real, how could someone just appear out of nowhere? You know what I am sick of this I wish you would just go away, I wish all of this would go away!"  
I threw her letter at the ground and lay my head in my hands. Tempted to scratch again. The man simply looked at me for a moment before reaching out and laying a hand on my shoulder.  
"My dear all will be explained there is no need for upset. You are perfectly healthy."  
"Perhaps tell me Mr I am Real, what you are doing here? Why are you here in your strange clothes appearing in my room and telling me I'm not insane?” His face changed to resemble embarrassment.  
“I am frightfully sorry I have forgotten my manners, I am Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and wizardry. I believe your name is Sira If I am correct?”  
“Well my name Is most certainly Se ear a not Si ra and I have never met you before so why you know my name is a mystery to me.”  
“ It is in my best interest to learn the names of all my students so I have learned yours Sera. I have come here to tell you personally that you are a witch-“  
That was when I lost it I burst out laughing, though when Dumbledore turned to me with confused eyes I stopped. “This can't be real! There is no such thing as witches and wizards sir. I am now most certain this is a hallucination if not a dream!”  
“Once again Sera this is not a dream or a hallucination. Like I said before you have never strayed from reality in you entire life.”  
His voice was firm now and he reached into his pocket to fetch what must have been his ‘wand’ with a flick a single butterfly appeared and flew into his outstretched hand, it fluttered over to me and without thinking I reached out and it landed on my palm, Its purple colour looked even brighter on my pale hand. I could only sit there in silence with my mouth slightly agape. A single tear fell from my pebble grey eyes and I brushed it away with my sleeve. I looked up at him with eyes shining as hope entered them, a hope that I never had before.

I finally saw Albus properly, the cloak and hat the beard that reached his waist, he had sparkling blue eyes hiding behind his half moon glasses.  
“I-I’m really not crazy? That- that was beautiful. Will I really be able to do things like that?” I looked at him with now pleading eyes, and I seemed to see him properly for the first time.  
“My dear, you will when you come to Hogwarts. But I have a matter to discuss with you of great seriousness. Will you come with me to talk privately? I shall talk to Madam Clemence, If you will pack your things I am sending you to stay with someone that can help you to understand this… situation properly as I am not the best suited. She will also help you to get your things for school.”

Dumbledore had spoken to Madam Clemence and was standing at my door and not long after he had left. I had finished packing, I did not have many things. I had lived in this orphanage all my life and Madam Clemence did not have the money to supply 57 girls with lots of wonderful things. I always had enough though, I had never complained, Madam Clemence was never mean or nasty she was lovely and had never given any of the us a reason to dislike her. I would not miss her though, it was the other girls I would miss. After spending eleven years with the same people you form a strong bond but we were used to goodbyes. There was always a stream of girls like me coming though the orphanage. No one stayed here forever. I excused myself a moment and told the girls I was leaving.  
"If you don't mind Sera it would be much easier to apperate to our destination, apperation is not a particularly pleasant business but it will get us there much faster."  
"I guess?"  
"If you would so kindly grab your case and my arm."

I reached out to grab his arm and instantly felt it slipping away I gripped it hard and suddenly felt like I was being squeezed into a tight ball, I felt as if my eyes were disappearing into my skull and my was body collapsing into itself. When all these sensations abruptly stopped I threw up in the nearest bush.  
"I'm sorry my dear, we have arrived but like I said apperation is not pleasant."  
I could feel my throat burn and I hesitantly replied  
"It's ok, you were right when you said we would get here fast as well. Where exactly are we?"  
"We are at Andromea Tonks's house, where you will stay until it is time to come to Hogwarts."  
He turned to look at the sky and said "I wanted to speak with you about something but I must be off, Andromea will give you enough information for now I will speak with you at Hogwarts. Goodbye Sera."  
With a crack he was gone and I took a deep breath before picking my trunk up and marching up to the door of the large cottage.

I stared at the dark wood for a moment before hesitantly knocking three times, I heard distant fumbling then footsteps heading towards me and with a swish a dark haired women was beaming down at me. She reminded me of someone I couldn't put my finger on whom.  
"Ah you must be Sira we have been expecting you! Come on, come in!"  
Andromea had the cleanest house I had ever seen, but the duster seemed to be dusting by itself. After standing a minute just drinking in my surroundings.  
I turned to Andromea and quietly told her "um you pronounce it Se ear a."  
Andromea looked at me with embarrassment written over her features and said "Oh I am so sorry dear Dumbledore must have got it wrong."  
She rolled her eyes and took out her wand and with a swish my trunk flew out of my hand and disappeared upstairs.

She then lead me to the right and into a cosy sitting room where a big bellied man was reading a paper that's pictures seemed to move, I started getting a headache. Weather it was because of the apperation or if all this magic was too much to take in I didn’t know.  
"Ted, she's here!"  
The man turned and beamed up at me. They both seemed like really cheerful people. Lifting himself up off the sofa he shook my hand,  
"It is nice to finally meet you Sira!"  
"Dear it's actually Se ear a, Dumbledore has embarrassed us both!"  
Ted rolled his eyes as well. "Well, it is still a pleasure to meet you Sera!"  
"Nice to need you too sir."  
"Oh none of that sir nonsense you can call me Ted!"  
I winced my headache was getting worse. Andromea gave me a worried look "Are you ok dear? Do you need anything?"  
"Oh I'm fine I just have a headache, do you have any Pamol or something?"  
Andromea looked at me confused. "She is talking about muggle medicine honey. Pain relief." Ted obviously knew what I was talking about.  
”Oh ok. Do you have any Ted I know you still use some muggle things?"  
" I think I have some paracetamol in the cupboard I will go and fetch some."  
He wondered out of the room and Andromea turned back to me " Why don't you sit down and I can answer some of your questions. I’m sorry I don’t know some muggle terms. I was raised by wizards and Ted has only taught me a few things.”  
“That is my first question, what are muggles?  
After a few minutes of Andromea telling me all about the wizarding world Ted returned with the Paracetamol and a glass of water. I took the pills and waited for them to kick in while Andromea talked a little more. Ted then joined tus and I was in awe, there was so much I didn't know. There were witches and wizards all over the world, there was a secret passage at the train station, I was going to a castle and be was being sorted into a house. After about an hour of chatter and a small lunch Andromea showed me to my room.

It was a lovely room with a large window looking out over the garden and a soft looking bed that seemed to call to me. My vision went blurry as I yawmned, all this wizard stuff had really wiped me out. I stifled another yawn and put all my clothes into the cupboard. The last thing in my trunk was my diary. I had used it to note down all my 'hallucinations'l Andromea stepped into the room and spotted it.  
"What's that?" T  
elling her the truth wouldn’t hurt now. ”  
This is where I wrote down all of my 'hallucinations' but now I guess it's just where I wrote down all my outbursts of magic."  
"Would it be ok if I read it?"  
" I don't see why not?" I handed her the book and she sat on my bed and read it.    
"These are some powerful outbursts, not many witches your age can successfully repair a fence whilst running from a dog or even levitate a book for that matter."  
"Well, I doubt I’m that special, I didn’t even know I had any magic until today.” I said magic with hesitation, I didn’t know if that would ever change, magic just seems so, so unnatural. Something told me I would. Someday.  
“If you don’t mind Andromea I would love to get some sleep. It has been a long day.. a really long day!”  
“Oh I am so sorry for holding you up. Would you like me to wake you when dinner's ready?”  
“Yes, thank you. And Thank you for, well everything, you are so generous for letting me stay” Andromea just smiled at me fondly and told me it was an honour before leaving me to rest.

I climbed out of my clothes and put a pair of pyjamas on. Smashing into the bed I instantly fell asleep.

"Sera I'm so sorry" the silhouette whispered as it stepped away into the darkness Sera tried to make out her face before she faded out of view.

I woke with a start and it took me a moment to recall my day, that dream seemed so real. So important. A knock at the door brought me back to the present and I hurried to answer. The person knocking was not a familiar face and I stepped back surprised to see the bright blue hair and bold brown eyes. They seemed to change right in front of me, morphing into pink spiked hair and deep blue eyes.  
"Ready for dinner?"  
"I-I just need to change. Who-who are you?"  
"Tonks! The daughter," she said with a smile and a wink.  
"Sera." I reached my hand out and Tonks pulled me into an awkward hug. She stepped back with her hands firmly on my shoulders.  
"Nice to finally meet you! You look so much like I thought you would!" She then turned and wandered down stairs. Slightly frazzled I threw an clean top and a pair of jeans and made my way to the kitchen.

The smell hit me as I opened the door, a pang of hunger told me I was starving. Dinner looked good, a golden chicken sat at the table with roast potatoes, vegetables and steaming gravy. I had only had meals like this at friends houses. Madam Clemence couldn’t exactly cook a roast for forty girls. I sat at the table opposite Tonks. I kept myself from looking in her eyes in case they changed colour again, I had always disliked change. Especially unnecessary change. Dinner was quiet. Everyone seemed to enjoy the food too much to mutter a word. I was savouring every bite. It was only when everyone had finished Andromea spoke "So Sera, did you sleep well?"  
"Oh very much so!" I smiled.  
I’m a guest no need to say the pillows were awfully lumpy.  
"Well, I hate to cloud the mood of a nice dinner but I'm afraid this day comes with more news. I wanted to discuss with you your parents."  Andromea sounded incredibly serious. The comfortable silence was now heavy with nerves from both parties and no one dared to even breathe.    
"My Parents?"  
I didn't know what else to say, all of a sudden thousands of questions were buzzing through my mind. My head felt flooded and empty at the same time.  
"Yes, your parents. I happen to know them quite well. That is why Dumbledore sent you here.'  
There was an uncomfortable pause. “  
You see your mother is my sister."  
Those words seemed to pull the plug and all my questions were sucked away. I was even more empty.  
"She sent you away because the wizarding world has been at war for the past twenty-two years. You see you have a brother too, I think she saw that the way he was growing up was not good for him and wanted you to have a better life. Your father is unaware of your existence as far as we know. Do not think they would not have loved you. She loves you and if you had stayed so would your father. but you see they are on the wrong side of the war. Your mother never wanted any part of it, but my family do not have the best values. When you are a part of the Black family you don’t get many choices. They believe that if you are not a pureblood you are filth meaning if you have had children with anyone other than a wizard some way down the line you are not good enough. So your mother married into a good family. The Malfoy family. I strayed from their ways but my sisters are not good with change. She slipped down a road she never meant to follow and she did not want you to end up like her. Your real name is Sera Malfoy, your mother's name is Narcissa and your father Lucius. Your brother is Draco Malfoy. I'm sorry to tell you this all at once but I thought you had the right to know and if you have any questions. Ask." I sat gazing at her hands shaking in my lap, that conversation seemed to be in slow motion. I didn’t understand though it happened too fast. I didn't know what to say or think. I had always thought I would never see or hear about my parents, they were gone but now, now I didn't know if I wanted to know more or just hide and forget. I seemed to start talking without processing .  
"One day, will I meet them? Do you think they would want to meet me?"  
I felt foolish for asking such a question but still I was eager to hear the answer.  
"I believe Dumbledore had it in mind you would talk to him and learn a bit about magic and your history before you met them. You see they are quite high up in the wizarding world."  
Ted saw the confusion in my eyes and spoke "Sera you know lords and ladies that you hear about in history. The Malfoy's are Princes and Princesses. They are proper and spend lots of time in their own little circles."  
I was getting it now. My mind seemed to gather itself and I found my situation better than I had thought. I turned to Andromea and asked "Would you teach me? Would you teach me how to be a proper witch. I do not wish to be so uptight as you describe them but I don't not want to be a joke." I spoke with such determination Andromea raised an eyebrow.  
"Is this really what you want?"  
"Oh very much so. I would like to meet my family later, when I fully understand what I am walking into."    
"Ok then. First thing tomorrow I will take you to Diagon Alley to buy you school things and show you what wizard shops look like."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading!! Please comment and leave feedback x


	3. Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sera is off to Diagon Ally. Who will she bump into? Will she cope with all this new information?
> 
> Second Chapter of "Hearts, Butterflies and Blood' Hope you enjoy x

I may have seemed confident and understanding but as soon as I reached my room I flipped.  
After a sleepless night of crying, yelling into my lumpy pillows and thinking what my life would have been like if I had stayed with my parents. What I would have been like. I found that when the sun's rays had started creeping through the window I had exhausted all of my anger and was now curious, what were my parents like? What would they do if I came home? What was my brother like? Would they tell me to leave? Would they welcome me with open arms and hearts? Too many questions. Too many answers. 

I got out of bed sick of staring at the ceiling with 14 cracks, 5 stains and 4 spiders. I hadn’t realised I was counting or that I had been scratching the inside of my wrist again. I moved into the small bathroom connected to my living space and stared at my pale skin and my eyes red with tears and dark from lack of sleep. I rubbed them and splashed some cold water on my face to wake myself up and sweep my face clean. New day new look. I managed to clean my arm even though it stung. I wanted to see the wizarding world without feeling so exposed, so torn and so full of self hatred. I caught my bloodied wrist in the corner of my eye and I squeezed them shut. Composing myself.  I sucked up some pride and got to work making myself look a little less dishevelled. There was no way I was meeting the wizarding world looking a wreck. 

Diagon alley was nothing like I expected. It was a twisted cobbled street  lined with shops and crowded with people wearing items of clothing I had never seen. So many were wearing hats and cloaks and everyone just walked around like it was normal! Andromea seemed to recognise someone and waved them over.  
"Molly so good to see you! How are the family?"  
"Oh Andromea, they are well. Very well. But have you seen Harry"

A boy, by the looks of it her son stood beside her. They shared the same freckles and ginger hair. Our eyes met and he blushed.  
"Hello. I don’t think we have met before. I'm Ron, Ron Weasly." He reached out and shook my hand.  
"Sera."  
Suddenly a girl with the same ginger hair came running up.  
"Ron! What are you doing? Shouldn’t you be looking for Harry?"  
"Calm Ginny we will find him. Mum just got caught up again. This is Sera by the way."  
Ginny seemed to just notice me.  
"Sorry Sera. I'm Ginny. Ron's younger sister. Are you beginning Hogwarts this year too?"  
"Yeah. I am."  
"Cool I'm sure I'll see you at school then, sorry we have lost his friend so we must be off" she turned to Ron. "Look Ron we should really get mum to stop talking and find Harry."

Andromea finished her conversation with Molly. I finally took in my surroundings. The shops were selling amazing things like cauldrons and Owls and sweets but one shop caught my eye. It was selling broomsticks. I laughed and Andromea turned to me with a quizzical look “You actually ride broomsticks! I thought that at least would have been just a kids story”  
Tonks giggled “Well muggles can get some things right. Brooms are amazing! I could teach you how to fly if you want.”  
That was when I was struck speechless. I could actually fly? “Tha-That would be amazing!”  
Andromea shuffled me along into a shop called “Madam Mawkin’s Robes for All Occasions”. After what felt like hours of standing and the small which fitting my robes they moved onto a shop full to the brim with books. There were books of every size and full of things I had no clue about. I bought my school books and moved onto the next shop, after buying potion ingredients from a shop that smelt of an old rubbish bin and buying parchment and quills Andromea told me it was time to find a companion as how she always loved looking after her owl. I decided an owl really wasn’t for me, the pooping, the squawking. No thank you. I was never terribly fond of birds but there was a particularly gorgeous black cat. I named him Sydney “A Tale of Two Cities" had been my first and only book I had owned but I had gorged myself in it at least twenty times.  

The last shop we visited was ‘Ollivander's” where I would get my wand. I entered the narrow old looking shop, with a ring of a bell sounding somewhere inside I swallowed as I looked at the wall of black boxes piled neatly in the back. The shop tingled with magic that made my hairs stand on end. Out of nowhere an old man stepped forward with a hello.  
“Ah finally you have arrived my dear. I knew you would come soon. Only last year your brother bought his wand I believe it was 10 inches, hawthorn wood and Unicorn hair. Quite a pliant wand might I add.”  
He seemed to be looking straight through me as he spoke, his glassy silver eyes never straying from my face. “Which is your wand arm?”  
“My left I guess. That's the one I write with.”  
A tape appeared and measured me by itself starting from shoulder to finger, then wrist to elbow, shoulder to floor, knee to armpit and then round my head. Whilst his tape measured me he told me,  
“every Ollivander wand has a core of a powerful magical substance, Miss Malfoy. We use unicorn hairs , phoenix tail feathers and the heartstrings of dragons. No two Ollivander wands are the same, just as no two unicorns, dragons or phoenixes are quite the same. And of course, you will never get such good results with another wizard’s wand.”    
When he had finished the tape was in the middle of measuring between my nostrils. Ollivander moved to examine the boxes covering the walls, he took a few down and said “that is enough.” The tape measure fell to the floor. “Right. Try this one. Holly, nine inches with a unicorn hair core. Take it and give it a wave.”  
I took the wand and Ollivander immediately swiped out of my hand. Standing baffled he handed me another It felt warm but I dismissed that, It was quite a stuffy little shop.  
“This one is Beachwood. Quite temperamental.”  
I gave it a swish and nothing happened. He took that one and handed me another beautiful looking wand.  
“Here give this a try. It is Pine, phoenix feather, 10 3/4 inches, go on. Give it a swish.” I flicked the wand and silver sparks lit up the room. “Excellent!” 

Back at the house I decided to take a look through my new possessions before putting them in the trunk I was borrowing. Halfway through packing I heard a knock at the door. Tonks trudged in and plopped down onto the bed, Tonks was always around. I just wanted some peace and quiet.  
“Hello. Do you need something?” I tried to sound polite  
“‘Lo. Nah just wanted to see how you were. It’s been a big day for ya. Excited yet?”  
“Um yeah I guess.” I looked at all my unpacked things. I just wanted some time to think and put away my stuff but it didn’t seem like Tonks was leaving anytime soon.  
“Its - Its just so overwhelming. Learning all of this. Figuring out what to do about my family. Not knowing how to prepare. How to get ready so they will accept me.”  
What was I doing I don't talk about feelings. These people were changing me.  
“I’m sure they will be happy to accept you no matter what hun.” Well too late now  
“I don’t think so. Like you and ‘Dromea said they are particular,  they don’t like change.”  
I looked down at the trunk and hot tears started to gather behind my eyes.  
“Hey don’t talk like that. They are your family, they will love you!”  
I looked up at Tonks the tears threatening to fall.  
“They don’t know me! I don’t know them!”  
I stood I'd had enough of the conversation and Tonks’s prying questions.  
“How can they love a stranger? An abandoned child?”  
I put my face in my hands and the tears fell. Tonks stilled on the bed shocked at the outburst. After a long silence and enough tears I looked up at her with betrayal in my eyes.  
“You don’t understand. But how could you? You have a mother and a father, you have your family.”  
I turned and stomped into the bathroom. With a slam the door shut and  on the other side I  slid down and hugged myself tight. Holding on to what was left of my emotions before the rest came tumbling out too. The scratching started again. Once I realised the self loathing kicked in and made it worse. I spent a few hours like this just a ball on the bathroom floor, I knew I would have to come out sometime but I stayed until I couldn't bear the aches in my muscles. Long sleeves again for a while. 

Andromeda must have noticed because one morning I reached across the table and 'dromea pulled my sleeve down revealing the ugly scabs. Tonks and Ted were having a rather hushed and heated discussion so didn't notice. Andromea didn't say anything but after I shuffled back into my room and started reading again 'Dromea came upstairs and had a long talk with me about it. Andromea was so understanding and kind, I cried for a while and we started talking about ways to prevent my self harm and help me though my pent up self hatred.  
I thought my little episode would have scared Tonks off but It only made her more eager to come and talk. Tonks liked to get into all the conversations about emotions, all those touchy feely things. I hated it and I was really starting to dislike Tonks. She just wasn't for me. I like to keep my emotions to myself and they were going to stay there. Andromea on the other hand was amazing. She was the closest thing to a mother I had ever had. All we talked about was Narcissa and all the other things I should know. I had really taken to reading all my school books to get a head start. Now my books were consuming me. Even though I had never read much , I now found it difficult to put any of my textbooks down. 

Today was the day. The first and the last day. I would miss Andromea. I felt sick. That morning I  had vomited my guts into the toilet and I had only had a bite of toast since. I was scratching again. I hated it and the more I hated it the more I did it. Life just kicks you in the guts. Only a few weeks ago I had scratched her wrist raw again. Like before Andromea had noticed, this time it was the blood under my nails that gave it away. Andromea still so good about it. She wrapped my wrists in bandages and told me to draw a heart on my wrist every time I had the urge to scratch. She would notice me scratching and hand me a pen. It helped. A lot. But now was different. It was. I needed some kind of reassurance. I needed to stop feeling numb. Andromea noticed again and sent me straight into the kitchen to bandage my wrists. “But I don’t want to meet anyone with these!” I held up my wrists and looked at Andromea with hurt in my eyes.  
“Hey! If you are going to do this to yourself how can I let you go? I don’t want you doing anything stupid. I won’t be there to do this or give you a pen. I love you and I care for you but what are you going to do? You need to stop. You don’t need to impress anyone. Especially Draco! I love you and he will too. But you need to stop ok. Promise me you will and every time you send me a letter I want the amount of hearts that are on your wrist on the bottom. I don’t want any ok. But don't lie. I can handle it. Tell me anything ok anything. If you need anything at all just write. I'm here for you.” She hugged me and held on until I hugged her back. Andromea was shaking with sobs and soon I had joined her.  
“Fine” I squeezed out in a small voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading another chapter of "Hearts, Butterflies and Blood". In the next chapter we get real the introductions ;)  
> Please comment and leave feedback xx

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please leave comments and feedback x


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